How do you picture your reception ending? DJ says, "last song", then management turns on the lights, and everyone wanders out to the parking lot?


Well:


  • A farewell circle is a pretty common. Everyone who's still standing gathers on the dance floor, and B&G go around, usually in opposite directions, and hug their goodbyes.
  • Sometimes there's a sparkler exit.
  • And Indian weddings often finish with a "vidaii". The guests form two lines, and the bride walks between them to the exit, throwing rice over her shoulder and crying, because the tradition symbolises saying goodbye to her childhood home.


But, of course, the most common exit is the farewell arch. The remaining guests raise their arms to create a tunnel of love, and bride and groom walk through it into their future.


It's fun and romantic, right?


Now let me tell you what happens in that tunnel.


So, if you're a videographer, the obvious move is to get in, just in front of the couple, and walk backwards -- and probably scamper out before the exit so that the photographer can get a shot.


It's potentially an awesome clip. But some videographers will refuse to do it, and the main reason is that people get handsy.


It's a little like crowd surfing. If you're female, and you're going to crowd surf, someone in that crowd is going to grope you. It's an unfortunate fact of life.


Well, same thing applies if you're male in a farewell arch. The guests have been using up the bar tab all night, and it's a party atmosphere. You're squatting there, you're forced into this awkward position with your rear protruding, and that temptation is just too much. You might as well paint a bullseye or attach a sign saying "Kick me", because dozens of drunk strangers now have the opportunity to kick, slap, pinch and grope you in fairly safe anonymity.


But this thought can be reassuring: the groom might get it worse.


At the church, waiting for the bride, standing in front of hundreds of people, what usually happens is groom and groomsmen reflexively clasp their hands in front of themselves, shielding their groins.


Well, by the time the groom is on the other side of the tunnel of love, the gesture might be more conscious than instinctive. If his friends a really rowdy, there's a good chance they're going to go for the balls, and they're not going to be subtle. 


I have a vivid memory of a groom who’d figured out a way to avoid many of the attacks. But one of his friends wasn't having it. He broke formation, chased the groom down the tunnel, and landed a clean kick between the legs.


"Welcome to married life, mate."